Fierce Walls

  I’ve always been quite blunt about the biggest challenge of being an autistic parent to an autistic child – other people’s expectations. Dealing with other people’s feelings and opinions on how I ought to parent, or how my children ought to be, or both, has always been more stressful and worrisome than whatever was […]

Am I Mom Enough? (Voices in My Head)

Even though I know better, sometimes it’s hard not to feel like a failure. Kids get older. Things change. People change, and circumstances change. It’s never easy – this type of parenting. But it gets so complicated as the children grow. It’s so different; a big change. I’m autistic. I don’t like change. I’m scared […]

while I have cracks, they aren’t to do with who I am, but what I’ve been through

A Gift of Healing

Something that I hadn’t really considered until just recently was what gentle parenting has given to me. Especially the gentle parenting of my autistic daughter. I’ve spent much of my life feeling broken and awkward. Like I don’t fit, or I fit wrong. Like I’m missing one or more essential bits of information that would just make everything clearer to me. I’ve repressed feelings, complied, tried to change, experienced severe depression several times, severe post natal depression several times, self harmed a lot and been suicidal. I’ve felt cracked and fragile, like I was compromising the well-being of my children simply by existing. Through most of that I’ve also parented.

I won’t ignore your ableism

When you begin to learn about ableism, it is an unfortunate reality of it but often you go through this process of realising that many (if not all) people in your life are ableist. For me, I didn’t necessarily feel scared or feel like I should be cutting out friends for being ableist. Not yet, […]

It’s rude to insist we are disordered

As an autistic person, I do not appreciate being viewed and treated as though I am inherently faulty or damaged. Many of us (autistics) have experienced how this plays out over a childhood, with our ways of being seen as innately wrong because they were atypical. This was, and is, happening whether or not we have […]