I’m sorry that I yelled at you. I’m sorry that I messed things up. I know you were tired and I was too and yesterday was just too much for both of us.
I’m sorry that I wasn’t more patient. I’m sorry that I felt angry thoughts about what you were doing. I know my anger fed on your frustration and only made it worse.
I’m sorry that I moved away when I should have found it within me to move closer. I know that even when you tell me you don’t want me, you still need me close by so that I am there when you are ready.
I’m sorry that I sighed out loud again and again. I know it’s hard to hear when someone is sounding out their displeasure at you. I should have taken some deep breathes and remembered that you are small.
I’m sorry that I got stuck. I drew a battle line and wouldn’t budge and I see now that it wasn’t worth the fuss. I should have found the courage to loosen the knots inside and let go.
Tonight when I crawl into bed next to your little body, I’ll take your hand and whisper ‘mama’s here’ and I’ll make my breath match yours until the pain I feel can settle.
Tomorrow, I’ll find a way to show you that I’m sorry and we can begin anew.