I’ve been trying to get an idea of mine across and it’s been difficult. I’ve kept it rolling around in the back of my mind. It might be ready now…
Parenting a child, autistic or not, has to be about you; the parent. For me, this is the core of the peaceful parenting I aspire to, but it also covers the hard times.
I know that society always tells us that parenting is selfless, and to some definitions it is, but when I decide how I’m going to interact with my children, those interactions are on me. When I decide to share my body, food, bed, resources, energy, that’s my choice and I need to be ok with how much I’m giving. When I snap because I don’t have enough of myself left, it’s my reaction that I have to own and my reaction that I need to learn from and to prevent it from happening next time.
For me, the core of learning about bodily autonomy (the true bodily autonomy that I teach my children, rather than the imitation I was taught through societal norms) has been recognizing that I cannot control my children’s actions, reactions or movements. What is left after that? I can only control myself.