Word meme says: What is left after that? I can only control myself.

Be Selfish

I’ve been trying to get an idea of mine across and it’s been difficult. I’ve kept it rolling around in the back of my mind. It might be ready now…

Parenting a child, autistic or not, has to be about you; the parent. For me, this is the core of the peaceful parenting I aspire to, but it also covers the hard times.

I know that society always tells us that parenting is selfless, and to some definitions it is, but when I decide how I’m going to interact with my children, those interactions are on me. When I decide to share my body, food, bed, resources, energy, that’s my choice and I need to be ok with how much I’m giving. When I snap because I don’t have enough of myself left, it’s my reaction that I have to own and my reaction that I need to learn from and to prevent it from happening next time.

For me, the core of learning about bodily autonomy (the true bodily autonomy that I teach my children, rather than the imitation I was taught through societal norms) has been recognizing that I cannot control my children’s actions, reactions or movements. What is left after that? I can only control myself.

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