I’ve always been quite blunt about the biggest challenge of being an autistic parent to an autistic child – other people’s expectations. Dealing with other people’s feelings and opinions on how I ought to parent, or how my children ought to be, or both, has always been more stressful and worrisome than whatever was […]
There is a lot of revolting ableism in alternative parenting spaces. There are people around the edges of my life, in my social circles, members of my parenting communities – who creep me out. There are peaceful parenting writers and unschooling parents; people interested in wellness and those identifying as “Natural”. There are parents who […]
Something that I hadn’t really considered until just recently was what gentle parenting has given to me. Especially the gentle parenting of my autistic daughter. I’ve spent much of my life feeling broken and awkward. Like I don’t fit, or I fit wrong. Like I’m missing one or more essential bits of information that would just make everything clearer to me. I’ve repressed feelings, complied, tried to change, experienced severe depression several times, severe post natal depression several times, self harmed a lot and been suicidal. I’ve felt cracked and fragile, like I was compromising the well-being of my children simply by existing. Through most of that I’ve also parented.
As an autistic person, I do not appreciate being viewed and treated as though I am inherently faulty or damaged. Many of us (autistics) have experienced how this plays out over a childhood, with our ways of being seen as innately wrong because they were atypical. This was, and is, happening whether or not we have […]
Before I had a few kids and learned better, I believed extreme emotional reactions from children to be inherently problematic. I assumed, a bit too literally perhaps, that children would model their behaviour on their caregivers and the people they spent significant time with. I worried about ‘exposure’ to problematic (or so I thought) behaviour […]
My son doesn’t like noise, traffic, crowds, busyness, unexpected things happening or neighbours. He’s lived his whole 4 and a half years in the inner city, which is filled with all of the above. He’s spent months at a time preferring to stay inside our house, at times refusing to venture even into our back […]